Immortal Love
by yeyeo
Summary: ShizNat This a songfic. Title says it all... and it's Natsukicentric. That's all I'm saying. xD


Disclaimer: I do not own Mai Hime or Mai Otome. The song used is **My Immortal** by **Evanescence.**

Notes: Do read it to the end. **_This style stands for song lyrics._**

* * *

_Immortal love._ It was the two words which had brought a great many tragic tales of regretful love, of the very same love that lasts for eternity and continues even in death. It was just two ordinary words uttered from an insignificant person in a time long ago which had never faded away like it should. Two words which birthed a revolution in the world of love sap and romance novels. _Immortal love._ _ Weaklings_ wished for this love to exist, for this love to befall upon them. I call them weaklings because of their foolishness, because the day when perfect and immortal came in a single moment would be the day where time would stopped altogether. In the indifferent eyes of the naked truth, _nothing_ is ever good.

**Nothing can be immortal.**

_I call them weaklings because they never give up._

* * *

**_I'm so tired of being here… suppressed by all my childhood fears…_**

"Must you… must you really leave?"

"Yes… For you, for me, for everyone else…it's for the best. If it is at your expense that we could be together, I would rather leave and never come back than to see you forcing a smile in front me."

"It isn't as you think! I am happy with you, and I don't have to force myself when I'm with you! Where did that notion of me being unhappy ever get into your head huh! Can't you just forget about that stupid offer and just remain beside me?"

"And suffer? You know very well that things are not as they seem. Even if you say it verbally that you forgive me for the past, the shadow that always lingered around you told me more that you'll ever know. It is easy to forgive, Natsuki, but apparently it couldn't be so simply forgotten. Besides, we haven't had anything but fights lately! This cannot go on anymore. Grow up, will you, Natsuki. Nevermind… I can't believe this… The very last memory of you I have before I leave is this stupid fight. Here I had thought that perhaps you would give me a farewell hug to send me off! I _will _go and you're not going to stop me. Goodbye, Natsuki. Forever."

"Hey! I'm not done yet!"

She turned away without even a last glance at me… and strode towards the checkpoint…

That was a month ago. A month since she left me _it's just one common month that passed_. It was the 30th day today since the day she stepped out of my life _the day of our 4th anniversary _and tried not to leave any footprints behind in the sand that was my heart.

It simply didn't mean anything much to me.

Just like how it didn't matter that I am now the only official owner of this apartment.

**_I tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone…_**

Glancing around the room I was currently residing in, I couldn't help seeing things that weren't there anymore. Her favourite perfume, the comb that was the colour of her eyes _maple red, perhaps even ruby at times… _the box of tea leaves in the wardrobe, the purple yukata that she always wore… Shaking myself mentally to snap out of the daze, I turned to straightening the wrinkled sheets from last night's slumber. _The neckline of the yukata was open, its design seemingly led to the bountiful cleavage… showing off the pale but luminescent skin which made her look ever more so ethereal… The annoying grin she had on her face as strong arms snaked across my waist… A naughty tongue which wandered off everywhere… _

No! It's all over now. Stop thinking about her you idiot! She already said her goodbyes for eternity to you! You shouldn't even be thinking about her at all! She abandoned you!

**_And if you have to leave, I wish that you would just leave… Cause your presence still lingers here… and it won't leave me alone…_ **

Her graceful fingers flicked smoothly over the keyboard as the sound of typing resonated throughout the small apartment. I gave a little smile from the kitchen as I watched her brows furrow over in deep thought. Even though she was the perfect worker, tough problems that needed to be attended to quickly always did attach themselves to her… so much so that I seriously considered turning the 'wrinkles growth' joke back at her in a few more months time. Only the smell of my cooking could rouse her out of whatever she was thinking about with such fervor.

"Ara, dinner's waiting isn't it? Let's eat then, Natsuki."

"Shizuru, how's work coming along?"

"Just fine, Natsuki, I'm just a little tired from staring at the screen for six hours in a row… Hmm… it seems that Natsuki's cooking does improve with Mai's help."

"Well, is there a problem with my cooking?"

_It's annoying that she still distrusts and evaluates my cooking every time… Grah! Just you see Shizuru; there could be nothing you can pinpoint on today… _

"Let me see… Amount of food available –check- Variety of food –check- Presence of only one small pack of mayonnaise –check- A teapot of tea –check- Proper utensils –check-… All seems to be in order tonight, Natsuki."

"See, tonight's dinner had no problem at all!"

"Ara… but what's that sticking out of your pocket, Natsuki?"

_Gods! I forgot all about it. Relax, Natsuki… it's nothing to be worried about…_

_She wouldn't recognize it anyway… _

"It's nothing, just something I forgot about."

"Na-tsu-ki."

_I seriously am not believing that her eyes are still so sharp after typing for six hours._

"Yes?"

"That a tube of mayo, isn't it?"

_Damn._

A dull ache slowly made itself known… spreading ever so painfully across my body… _my heart… was it bleeding?_

_**These wounds won't seem to heal; this pain is just too real… there's just too much that time cannot erase…**_

I flopped onto the bed and stared blankly at the navy blue ceiling that was splotched with the projected stars that shimmered like the real ones.

_Natsuki, since you love stars so much and I couldn't possibly get the real ones for you… I… I just hope that you'll make do with these stars that I'd confined to our room. This way, we would forever be sleeping under the starry night sky in the comfort of each other's embrace…_

_Maple eyes… chestnut hair… Kyoto accent…_

"You said that we would sleep forever under these stars… Shizuru… You said we would…"

**_You used to captivate me by your resonating mind; now I'm bound by the life you left behind. Your face haunts my once pleasant dreams… _**

"Shizuru… why? Why did things turned out to be like this? We were happy, weren't we? All the times spent here… was the comfort and sense of peace I found in your arms all fake? Was it all just a dream that I had awoken from? Is this reality, or was it the years spent before? Tell me why this hollowness in me doesn't fill even though I tried my best to patch it up. Tell me why!"

**_These wounds won't seem to heal; this pain is just too real… there's just too much that time cannot erase… Your voice has chased away all the sanity in me…_**

"Na-tsu-ki."

"Y-Yawn… What's up, Shizuru? Get back to sleep, it's still way too early…"

"Natsuki, are you happy?"

"What's with the weird questions in the wee hours of light?"

"Are you?"

"Yes, I am. In fact, I'm satisfied and happy beyond belief and words… Now let's catch up on sleep again…"

"Natsuki…"

"You're being a lot more talkative today… is something wrong?"

"No… nothing's wrong at all… this just feels a little chimerical to me. Natsuki… don't ever cry again… ok? I promise that I won't let anything hurt you…"

"I was just having a nightmare, Shizuru… there's no need to fret so much about it…"

I pulled her closer to me and wrapped my arms around her. She didn't mind that I treated her as oversized teddy too much anyway… I faded away to dreamland as the sound of her steady breathing lulled me to… it was even more effective than the best lullaby…

"Sleep, Shizuru… you need your rest. Tomorrow's a tedious day."

"I know. I love you, Natsuki. So very much… remember that…"

"Me too… and I will remember it…"

**_ When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears. When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears. I held your hand through all of these years…_**

Where were all the promises you made to me? Shizuru… did you really love me as you said you did? Or did you say that because I was the only option left for you? You didn't want to marry a guy, didn't want to be treated as a prized trophy… was I just a tool to you? Did you merely claim to love me but feel neither attraction nor love towards me? These stars… only with you will I be able to admire them like I should. Everything seems all tasteless and meaningless now. Do you know how I'm feeling right now? Are you also thinking about me? Or are you already wrapped up in the arms of another woman?

**_Now I'm bound by the life you left behind… This pain is just too real… I'm so tired of being here…_**

_Meteor shower…? When was there ever a meteor shower function in the machine that projected those stars?_

"Kuga Natsuki… a voice mail is waiting to be received. Please indicate a positive or a negative."

"Positive."

"Voice mail is coming through in 10 seconds… please wait."

_Who would send me a voice mail so early in the morning?_

I was prepared to press the cancel button to nullify my request… but it was _her._

"Natsuki. It's Shizuru. I had programmed the voice service to call at the exact time of 0500hrs as you're usually awake by then. If I woke you, I'm really sorry. No… wait… I have something important to say… don't cut it off please…"

"Natsuki… Did you like the meteor shower in the room? Ok, that was stupid… I know you are probably still very mad at me right now, cursing me even… I shouldn't have left you like I did… but I had no other choice… You see, I was given the option of leaving you or getting you killed. There had already been a few accidents that you were unaware about in the attempt to kill you in order to get to me. I just wanted to protect you, Natsuki. Even so, that's still no excuse for me to break all my promises to you. By today, the organization would have been annulled and you safe again. Nothing is more important to me than you, Natsuki. Nothing…"

_Shizuru? What's this about killing me?_

"… Natsuki, if you still forgive me even after my heinous crimes of breaking my promises and leaving you… please open the front door…"

_She left in order to protect me…? And I had been thinking all those thoughts against her? I doubted her?_

"… If you don't… I'll get your message and just leave… I'm really sorry…"

**_When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears. When you scream I'd fight away all of your fears. I held your hand through all of these years. I've been alone all this time…_**

"… I get your message… Natsuki; it is okay… I deserved it… I'll be going now…"

**_Cause your presence still lingers here, and it won't leave me alone…_**

"NO!"

I rushed to the living room and pulled the door wide open with a loud bang. A stunned expression was on her face before she registered the fact that I was standing in front of her.

_Blood-red eyes that were once again darkened because of me… Shizuru…_

"Shizuru."

"Natsuki."

I leapt into her arms. _The safe haven… for me…_

"I missed you."

"Don't do it again, Shizuru… at least not alone."

_The safe haven for us…_

"I missed you too, Shizuru."

**_When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears. When you scream I'd fight away all of your fears. I held your hand through all of these years. _**

_**But you'll still have…**_

_**All of me.**_

"I'm never letting you go again."

* * *

_Immortal love._ It was love that was supposed to last for eternity… love that existed in tragic tales of regretful love, of the very same love that continues even in death. It was just two ordinary words uttered from an insignificant person in a time long ago which had never faded away like it should. Two words which birthed a revolution in the world of love sap and romance novels. _Immortal love._ Everyone wished for this love to exist, for this love to befall upon them… and perhaps if they waited long enough, it would…

Nothing is ever perfect in this world. Nothing is immortal. But that doesn't matter. What matters is the process of striving to achieve the perfect and the immortal. What matters was actually not the final result but the process.

_Weaklings are those that give up, not those that don't. _

I was one myself. But perhaps I had learnt how not to be one.

* * *

A/N: -dozes off- Another one that I think is truly yucky –typed when I was falling asleep, what say you? tell me that you agree T-T yes? First time writing a songfic ever, so do leave some comments. xD


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